When you are afraid, you start going into fight or flight mode. Your body starts prioritising what is needed for immediate survival - screw routine body functions, if you don't make it past the next few moments there won't be a routine to return to. You stop digesting food. Cell repair slows or stops. You stop producing saliva, which is why your mouth goes dry when you're nervous just before making a speech or going into a difficult conversation. Your heart rate and breathing increase to ensure better blood flow. A cocktail of hormones like epinephrine and oxytocin are cued up and produced, which amplifies your body's ability to act (and remarkably, in the case of oxytocin, reminds you to seek help).
Don't be mistaken about what happens when you feel fear. Your body is readying itself to help you face what you fear in the way it knows how.
What causes us to feel fear?
1) Fear occurs to us unconsciously. Do you pause to think, hey, very angry looking snake! Maybe I should be scared. Of course not, it would be too late! Fear becomes much clearer when we examine what happens inside your brain. When you are afraid, the fear/anger/aggression/anxiety centre of your brain - the amygdalas (get used to this name, it's gonna keep popping up) lights up. And we've covered all the changes that happen in your body: your blood pressure, your hormones, your heart-rate. But remember how amygdala is like a train interchange with direct routes to different parts of your brain? There is a direct neural link between our amygdala and your pre-frontal cortex, the rational thinking part of your brain. And if we look closely enough or we think things through, sometimes we realise, argh! it's not an angry snake, it's just a prank toy that your annoying friend had thrown at you. Or if you've handled angry snakes enough times, your amygdala does not light as much. Your blood pressure and your heart rate do not increase as much, you realise what you need to do is to stay calm and slowly back away.
Finally, notice how fear, anger, aggression, and anxiety are processed by the same part of the brain, the amygdala. This is no coincidence. These 4 emotions are closely tied to one another; aggression maybe triggered because one is nervous, angry, or fearful. Being fearful may cause one to react angrily, as a self-defense mechanism. Fear, like all our emotions, happens to us. Mostly, we can't control how it originates. But we can control how it develops by understanding what exactly is causing fear and by choosing the response that dispels it
2) We fear what we are unconfident or uncertain about. Think back on your ancestors doing something they weren't confident or certain off - hunting a massive animal without a weapon, or eating a berry they've never seen before. Doing so would mean a very high chance of seriously harming themselves. Today, after many cycles of evolution, we have been wired based on these experiences.
Think about it. Are you ever fearful of something you've done before, and are good? Brushing your teeth, putting on your clothes, indulging in your favourite hobby (whatever it is)? Of course not. You know you can perform these functions easily. You are confident.
But many of us would have felt fearful and anxious the first time we ventured into something new: using a pair of chopsticks, riding a bicycle, swimming, going on a first date. We were uncertain about these functions, and we were not confident about performing them. However, once we have demonstrated to ourselves that we are able to perform these tasks, we are no longer afraid. The same applies to more challenging tasks. Some of us struggle with: public speaking, starting a business, having a very difficult conversation with the CEO... You are uncertain and unconfident if you can succeed. But once you have proven to yourself you are able to do it, even for the more challenging tasks, you are no longer afraid. People might start off feeling scared about public speaking, but after speech 3797, you're pro The catch, of course, is that sometimes, we are too scared to start.
Even if we were certain of something OR confident about something, many of us will still feel some amount of fear. We might be theoretically certain how we should use a pair of chopsticks, but if we have never succeeded in using them properly, we remain unconfident and will still feel nervous if we had to use them, especially when others are observing. You might also be confident about
3) we fear what is painful. Boxer. climbing 100 flights of stairs or doing 100 burpees. But pain is not just physical but mental. Failure is painful. Being judged is painful.
This is why you procrastinate. You either fear what you have to do bevause you don't know how to do it (you don't fear brushing your teeth for example), or you fear doing something becaue you know it will be effortful
4) we fear what we cannot control
Learn more about your amygdala, the amygdala hijack, the thalamus, the pre-frontal cortex, and how your brain works here.
​
Summary:
- Fear and anxiety (and anger + aggression) are always
We're all Good Samaritans... until we need to take action
In our minds, most of us are good people. We do a lot of good things and we help a lot of people (sometimes this goes unnoticed). And when we don't? Well, usually we have our difficulties. Or we just didn't know; the people that needed help didn't ask - if they did we would surely do what we can.
Experiment
Well, John Darley and Daniel Batson (read more about the study here) from the Princeton Theological Seminary put this to the test in 1973:
-
40 theological students (i.e. students studying to become Christian Pastors) were selected for the experiment, split into 2 groups.
-
Each student in group 1 was told to prepare a short talk on the Parable of the Good Samaritan (a story from the bible where a Samaritan man showed great compassion in helping an injured stranger)
-
Each student in group 2 was told to prepare a short talk on job opportunities for those who studied theology
-
Students had to deliver their talk at a separate building, some distance away.
-
Students were given varying times to reach the next building:
-
high hurry (small amount of time; have to rush to reach in time)​
-
moderate hurry (moderate amount of time; have to move at a moderate pace)
-
low hurry (more than enough time; will reach with time to spare even at a slow pace)
-
-
On their way to the venue, each student encountered a person slumped in the doorway in distress. This person is an actor assigned by Darley and Batson, who would moan loudly and cough, appearing to suffer from serious abdominal pain. (this person mirrors the injured stranger in the Good Samaritan story in the bible).
​
So would the students stop to help the man in distress? As theological students, all of them should be familiar with the parable of the good samaritan. Even more so for those in group 1 who were about to give a talk on the good samaritan parable! Would they stop to help the distressed man, just like the good samaritan in the parable? How much of a role did the time they had to travel affect students?
​
Results
-
There was no difference between groups 1 and 2. Students on their way to give a talk about the parable of the Good Samaritan were no more likely to give help than students who were going to give a talk about career opportunities. In both groups, about 40% of students offered help.
​
-
The degree in which participants had to rush played a much more significant role in determining whether the students would stop to help the distressed stranger: ​
-
For those in a high hurry (having to rush to the other building), only 10% stopped to help the stranger.
-
For the moderate hurry group - 45% stopped to help the stranger
-
For the low hurry group, 63% stopped to help the stranger.
-
The results certainly suprised Darley and Batson, who noted, “on several occasions, a seminary student going to give his talk on the parable of the Good Samaritan literally stepped over the victim as he hurried on his way!” Or if I can surmise more bluntly:
"Seminary students chose to violate the
lesson from the parable of the Good Samaritan,
so that they can be on time to give a talk about the same parable."
So pretty gloomy results, with a large dollop of irony on top. But there is some redeeming news: most of the folks who did not stop did appear aroused and anxious when they arrived at the next building. This suggests that the folks did not simply ignored the "victim", but had an internal conflict between helping someone and completing their task.
​
As we have examined extensively over these pages, our brains have some innate wiring: we are geared toward survivial - we constantly worry about what will happen to us, and try to reduce the amount of risk that we face. Our brains are wired to prefer efficiency over accuracy - when we are faced with a dilemma, we tend to pick the easier option.
Completing the task we have at hand is the simpler and much less risky option: we might potentially suffer a loss if the task is not completed, but we don't lose anything if we don't help someone. And it's easier to follow instructions than to think independently.
​
My own belief about human altruism is this:
- We are not
​