When you are afraid, you start going into fight or flight mode. Your body starts prioritising what is needed for immediate survival - screw routine body functions, if you don't make it past the next few moments there won't be a routine to return to. You stop digesting food. Cell repair slows or stops. You stop producing saliva, which is why your mouth goes dry when you're nervous just before making a speech or going into a difficult conversation. Your heart rate and breathing increase to ensure better blood flow. A cocktail of hormones like epinephrine and oxytocin are cued up and produced, which amplifies your body's ability to act (and remarkably, in the case of oxytocin, reminds you to seek help).
Don't be mistaken about what happens when you feel fear. Your body is readying itself to help you face what you fear in the way it knows how.
What causes us to feel fear?
1) Fear occurs to us unconsciously. Do you pause to think, hey, very angry looking snake! Maybe I should be scared. Of course not, it would be too late! Fear becomes much clearer when we examine what happens inside your brain. When you are afraid, the fear/anger/aggression/anxiety centre of your brain - the amygdalas (get used to this name, it's gonna keep popping up) lights up. And we've covered all the changes that happen in your body: your blood pressure, your hormones, your heart-rate. But remember how amygdala is like a train interchange with direct routes to different parts of your brain? There is a direct neural link between our amygdala and your pre-frontal cortex, the rational thinking part of your brain. And if we look closely enough or we think things through, sometimes we realise, argh! it's not an angry snake, it's just a prank toy that your annoying friend had thrown at you. Or if you've handled angry snakes enough times, your amygdala does not light as much. Your blood pressure and your heart rate do not increase as much, you realise what you need to do is to stay calm and slowly back away.
Finally, notice how fear, anger, aggression, and anxiety are processed by the same part of the brain, the amygdala. This is no coincidence. These 4 emotions are closely tied to one another; aggression maybe triggered because one is nervous, angry, or fearful. Being fearful may cause one to react angrily, as a self-defense mechanism. Fear, like all our emotions, happens to us. Mostly, we can't control how it originates. But we can control how it develops by understanding what exactly is causing fear and by choosing the response that dispels it
2) We fear what we are unconfident or uncertain about. Think back on your ancestors doing something they weren't confident or certain off - hunting a massive animal without a weapon, or eating a berry they've never seen before. Doing so would mean a very high chance of seriously harming themselves. Today, after many cycles of evolution, we have been wired based on these experiences.
Think about it. Are you ever fearful of something you've done before, and are good? Brushing your teeth, putting on your clothes, indulging in your favourite hobby (whatever it is)? Of course not. You know you can perform these functions easily. You are confident.
But many of us would have felt fearful and anxious the first time we ventured into something new: using a pair of chopsticks, riding a bicycle, swimming, going on a first date. We were uncertain about these functions, and we were not confident about performing them. However, once we have demonstrated to ourselves that we are able to perform these tasks, we are no longer afraid. The same applies to more challenging tasks. Some of us struggle with: public speaking, starting a business, having a very difficult conversation with the CEO... You are uncertain and unconfident if you can succeed. But once you have proven to yourself you are able to do it, even for the more challenging tasks, you are no longer afraid. People might start off feeling scared about public speaking, but after speech 3797, you're pro The catch, of course, is that sometimes, we are too scared to start.
Even if we were certain of something OR confident about something, many of us will still feel some amount of fear. We might be theoretically certain how we should use a pair of chopsticks, but if we have never succeeded in using them properly, we remain unconfident and will still feel nervous if we had to use them, especially when others are observing. You might also be confident about
3) we fear what is painful. Boxer. climbing 100 flights of stairs or doing 100 burpees. But pain is not just physical but mental. Failure is painful. Being judged is painful.
This is why you procrastinate. You either fear what you have to do bevause you don't know how to do it (you don't fear brushing your teeth for example), or you fear doing something becaue you know it will be effortful
4) we fear what we cannot control
Learn more about your amygdala, the amygdala hijack, the thalamus, the pre-frontal cortex, and how your brain works here.
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Summary:
- Fear and anxiety (and anger + aggression) are always
Why does your mouth go dry when you're nervous?
You're waiting to deliver your huge make-or-break presentation.
You look around at everyone else the room. You think about your lines. And then you realise....your mouth has gone dry.
In an earlier chapter, we spoke about the reptilian part of your brain - the part that regulates your body (really without much instructions you) to allow you to physically function. When blood sugar is low, it makes you hungry so that you would go eat. When your body temperature rises too much, you start sweating.
And when you're frightened or anxious or angry (you should be familiar with the amygdala - the same part of your brain that deals with all these emotions) - when you feel threatened by something, your reptilian brain kicks your body into what is commonly termed "fight or flight".
"Fight or flight" is a survival response. Your body starts triggering hormones and entering an elevated state of preparedness. It is getting you ready to fight or run.
We're familiar with the more obvious effects. Your blood pressure rises. Your heart-rate goes up. Your breathing gets heavier. What is happening is that the faster heart-rate and increased pressure allow more blood into your limbs should you need to take action.
But your body is even more sophisticated than that.
It temporarily shuts down all unnecessary processes. For example, healing. Your body is capable of repairing itself from all sorts of ailments or injuries. Cuts and bruises heal by themselves. White blood cells are constantly fighting off potential threats. And you're healing from any muscular tension. But all these repairs stop when you are in fight or flight. It doesn't matter if your cut heals if you don't make it past the immediate threat.
Another example: your digestion stops. Energy is diverted away from digesting food (not very important at this moment) to your limbs and cardiovascular system, in case you need to make a run for it, or start fighting.
So why does your mouth go dry? Because the digestion process starts in your mouth. Saliva is the first step to breaking down food to be absorbed by the body. But in fight or flight, since digestion stops, so does the production of saliva. Hence, a dry mouth.
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If you think about it, your brain and body have evolved to be pretty awesome. It understands, without you ever needing to learn this, threat priority. There's no point repairing injured parts or digesting food if you don't survive the impending threat (although we shall see that our assessment of what is threatening can be pretty bad). It automatically gathers all your resources and concentrates them to help you get through whatever that is making you frightened or anxious. Like a super chief operating officer. Pretty impressive huh?
There're important implications as we understand our body's automatic responses:
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survival is deeply wired in us, and
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fear is our favourite tool for survival. If we are afraid, we tend to pick the least risky, safest, most conservative option
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The triggering of fear is automatic and subconscious. This is the case for all emotions. You don't tell yourself to be fearful or disgusted or sad - emotions simply happen to you.
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For example, you didn't need to tell your body to stop digestion or healing, or to dilate blood vessels and increase blood pressure. All of these happen automatically, without you telling your body to do so
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You may also be interested in:
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Fear - our tool for survival. But do we always get our fears right?
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The Amygdala - the centre for fear, anger, anxiety, and aggression
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