When you are afraid, you start going into fight or flight mode. Your body starts prioritising what is needed for immediate survival - screw routine body functions, if you don't make it past the next few moments there won't be a routine to return to. You stop digesting food. Cell repair slows or stops. You stop producing saliva, which is why your mouth goes dry when you're nervous just before making a speech or going into a difficult conversation. Your heart rate and breathing increase to ensure better blood flow. A cocktail of hormones like epinephrine and oxytocin are cued up and produced, which amplifies your body's ability to act (and remarkably, in the case of oxytocin, reminds you to seek help).
Don't be mistaken about what happens when you feel fear. Your body is readying itself to help you face what you fear in the way it knows how.
What causes us to feel fear?
1) Fear occurs to us unconsciously. Do you pause to think, hey, very angry looking snake! Maybe I should be scared. Of course not, it would be too late! Fear becomes much clearer when we examine what happens inside your brain. When you are afraid, the fear/anger/aggression/anxiety centre of your brain - the amygdalas (get used to this name, it's gonna keep popping up) lights up. And we've covered all the changes that happen in your body: your blood pressure, your hormones, your heart-rate. But remember how amygdala is like a train interchange with direct routes to different parts of your brain? There is a direct neural link between our amygdala and your pre-frontal cortex, the rational thinking part of your brain. And if we look closely enough or we think things through, sometimes we realise, argh! it's not an angry snake, it's just a prank toy that your annoying friend had thrown at you. Or if you've handled angry snakes enough times, your amygdala does not light as much. Your blood pressure and your heart rate do not increase as much, you realise what you need to do is to stay calm and slowly back away.
Finally, notice how fear, anger, aggression, and anxiety are processed by the same part of the brain, the amygdala. This is no coincidence. These 4 emotions are closely tied to one another; aggression maybe triggered because one is nervous, angry, or fearful. Being fearful may cause one to react angrily, as a self-defense mechanism. Fear, like all our emotions, happens to us. Mostly, we can't control how it originates. But we can control how it develops by understanding what exactly is causing fear and by choosing the response that dispels it
2) We fear what we are unconfident or uncertain about. Think back on your ancestors doing something they weren't confident or certain off - hunting a massive animal without a weapon, or eating a berry they've never seen before. Doing so would mean a very high chance of seriously harming themselves. Today, after many cycles of evolution, we have been wired based on these experiences.
Think about it. Are you ever fearful of something you've done before, and are good? Brushing your teeth, putting on your clothes, indulging in your favourite hobby (whatever it is)? Of course not. You know you can perform these functions easily. You are confident.
But many of us would have felt fearful and anxious the first time we ventured into something new: using a pair of chopsticks, riding a bicycle, swimming, going on a first date. We were uncertain about these functions, and we were not confident about performing them. However, once we have demonstrated to ourselves that we are able to perform these tasks, we are no longer afraid. The same applies to more challenging tasks. Some of us struggle with: public speaking, starting a business, having a very difficult conversation with the CEO... You are uncertain and unconfident if you can succeed. But once you have proven to yourself you are able to do it, even for the more challenging tasks, you are no longer afraid. People might start off feeling scared about public speaking, but after speech 3797, you're pro The catch, of course, is that sometimes, we are too scared to start.
Even if we were certain of something OR confident about something, many of us will still feel some amount of fear. We might be theoretically certain how we should use a pair of chopsticks, but if we have never succeeded in using them properly, we remain unconfident and will still feel nervous if we had to use them, especially when others are observing. You might also be confident about
3) we fear what is painful. Boxer. climbing 100 flights of stairs or doing 100 burpees. But pain is not just physical but mental. Failure is painful. Being judged is painful.
This is why you procrastinate. You either fear what you have to do bevause you don't know how to do it (you don't fear brushing your teeth for example), or you fear doing something becaue you know it will be effortful
4) we fear what we cannot control
Learn more about your amygdala, the amygdala hijack, the thalamus, the pre-frontal cortex, and how your brain works here.
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Summary:
- Fear and anxiety (and anger + aggression) are always
Gandalf the Grey or Gandalf the White? Well your brain is both
Your brain is often referred to as the 3 pounds of "grey matter" between your ears.
It's "grey matter" because it literally looks greyish in reality - the bulk of our brains are formed by neurons, which are greyish in colour.
But if you notice, in the image above, there is also "white matter".
What is this "White Matter"? (if your answer is bone.... please give yourself a punch).
This white matter is myelin.
||| Myelin is a key reason why what we think or do often becomes easier and more natural
First, don't be intimidated by the picture above. It's just how our neurons (our brain cells) look like.
On the left side of the picture, the "nerve cell", this is simply the body of the cell.
On the right side of the picture is the "the nerve cell fibre" - you can think of this as the "mouth" of the cell. After the cell body decides on something, it tries to tell other cells through its "mouth".
Myelin is a white (white matter, remember?) sheath of fat and protein that wraps around the connecting tube between the cell body and the cell's "mouth".
What causes this fatty sheath of myelin to develop?
Repetition. When we repeatedly think or do something, myelin starts to develop. And from the picture of the brain above, you can see that there is a fairly significant amount of myelin in our brains.
And so what does myelin do?
Myelin makes it faster and easier for the cell body to send messages to the mouth, and in turn to other cells. The speed and efficiency at which a message that passed out is important. Think about it like social media vs print media. When something happens, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram will quickly buzz with activity and discussion. In contrast, newspapers only get printed the next day - by the time the newspapers are out, social media had already covered the news extensively.
Similarly, cells with myelin can quickly disseminate ideas or information to other neurons, which in turn causes them to start triggering their own messages and reactions.
The presence of myelin is the reason why, when we answer the same questions or perform the same actions, we can do so much quicker and seemingly more automatically. In turn, this makes it feel easier.
But it's also important to note that the development of myelin is values free. It doesn't judge whether the answer or action we consistently give is correct or not. This also explains why it is hard to change a particular way of thinking, or a say an incorrect action which you've become used to.